scribo, ergo sum

tahukah kau,
apa yang terpenting dalam kehidupan ini?

tahukah kau,
apa yang harus seseorang miliki dalam menjalani hari demi hari?

tahukah kau,
bagaimana keluar dari setiap persoalan yang selalu kita hadapi?

tahukah kau?
tahukah?
kau?

terkesan jawaban dari seluruh pertanyaan tadi dinilai "relatif".
banyak makna dan pengertian.

tetapi, bagi saya hanya satu jawaban dari pertanyaan-pertanyaan tadi.

HARAPAN.

ya,
tanpanya,
tak akan ada alasan seralistis apapun dalam menjalani kehidupan ini.

ya,
tanpanya,
cita-cita tak akan pernah tercapai.

ya,
tanpanya,
asa dan angan hanyalah sebatas di dalam buku dongeng semata.

bagi saya sendiri, hanya satu hal yang pasti dari harapan yang kita miliki.

KEKUATAN.

karena harapan membuat kita kuat untuk bertahan.

karena harapan menyanggupkan kita untuk selalu mencapai seluruh asa dan angan.

dan hanya karena harapan lah,
terjadi sebuah,

PERUBAHAN.

.HARAPAN. KEKUATAN. PERUBAHAN.

saya ingin sekali memiliki ketiganya.
agar kau sadar, kalau masih ada orang yang peduli dengan hidupmu.

agar kau sadar, masih ada saya yang mengasihimu setulus hati.

terimakasih,

bapak Presiden RI, JOKOWI.

Ps : "mengomentari foto Bapak Jokowi di majalah TIME dengan tema HOPE"

This is not a Hallmark Card Father's Day type message.
There are no shortage of the warm and fuzzy Father's Day cards, quotes and sentiments for you to read, bouncing around the Internet.

No, this Father's Day message is for all of us who have, or had, strained, troubled, broken or abusive relationships with dear old dad.
It was actually inspired after recently counseling someone whose father had sexually abused her as a child. So, if your dad is Ward Cleaver, count your lucky stars.
You don't need to read on. Go enjoy him. Love him and celebrate him.
Just don't judge those of us who struggle with Father's Day because we had something far less than "Father Knows Best," for a dad.

To begin with, it's important to remember that the Hebrew Bible says, "honor your father."
It doesn't say "obey your father."
It doesn't say "respect your father."
It doesn't say "like your father."
It doesn't even say "love your father."

Of course, it would be wonderful to feel love for one's father, however, love is a feeling and feelings can't be commanded.

Some fathers are lovable.
However, some fathers are not.
For a myriad of reasons, they are outside the realm of our love: abuse, neglect, absence, abandonment, betrayal -- many fathers have simply made it impossible for their children to feel the emotion of love or demonstrate it back.

And if you are such a child, of any age, or even if your father is dead, particularly on Father's Day when you are bombarded with Hallmark card messages of "love you dad," you need to hear this at least once today:

- NOT LOVING YOUR DAD DOES NOT MAKE YOU A MONSTER.

- NOT LOVING YOUR DAD IS NOT YOUR FAULT.

- IS IT SAD? YES, OF COURSE, BUT IT DOES NOT MAKE YOU BAD!

Look, we are not judged by our feelings, rather, we are judged by our actions.
It would be nice to love dad, however, for many of us, at least at this moment, it may not be there and maybe it never will.

What is a choice, what is always a choice, however, are our actions.
How do we choose to treat our dads?
That is always our choice to make.
To "honor" our father, at the very least, is to treat him with common decency and dignity.
In the rabbinic tradition this is the bare minimum of making sure that he is clothed, fed, and sleeps with a roof over his head. It is a minimum, it certainly isn't a maximum, but it is a start.

Beyond that there are degrees of honor -- if at all possible, picking up the phone and calling dad, speaking to dad in a dignified way and taking the kids to visit their grandfather are all rungs as we climb up the ladder of honor.

Honor, however, may also mean NOT picking up the phone, NOT visiting, or NOT placing the grandchildren into his life.
Yes, that is harsh.
Of course it isn't ideal.
It's horrible.
It's hell.

However, so is physical abuse, sexual abuse or emotional abuse.
Hell is having a father who is a drug addict, a compulsive liar, thief, bully or all-around bad guy.
Indeed, there is a commandment to honor one's father, however, there is no commandment to subject oneself, or own's children, to abuse, forsaking their honor, or our own, to honor an abusive dad.

As much as it is a commandment to honor one's father, equally it is a commandment for a father to make it possible for his children to honor him and some dad's seem to do all they can to make this commandment nearly impossible to fulfill.

Respect must be earned.

Love must be inspired.

Honor, however, is a set of actions that we have some control over.
As sons and daughters we must do everything we can to bestow honor, at least the lowest rung on the ladder of honor, upon our dad.

Maybe this Father's Day you'll forgive your dad (alive or dead).
Possibly this Father's Day you'll love your dad.
Perhaps this Father's Day you'll find something, one thing, to respect about your dad.

However, at the very least, do whatever you can to somehow, in some way, show him some honor.
Even if he doesn't deserve it -- do it for yourself, do it for your kids, do it for God.

May we all be blessed with father's we not only honor but we love.
At the very least, may we all be blessed to be sons and daughters that do our very best to show our dad, whether in life or death, deserving or not, a sense of honor on this Father's Day.

--- Have an Honorable Father's Day ---

menurut banyak kamus, baik kontekstual maupun non kontekstual.
istilah passion disebut,

gairah.
antusiasme.
nafsu.
hasrat.
kesenangan.
ketertarikan.

kebetulan saat ini saya masih berstatus job seeker.
alias pemburu pekerjaan.
beberapa kali saya menjalani interview, dan memang ada beberapa yang bertanya,
"what's your passion, ezra?"

dalam hati, jujur saya bingung. karena bagi saya, passion bukan sesuatu yang mudah didapatkan.
passion bukanlah sesuatu yang dengan cepat kita tahu.
bukan sesuatu yang bisa dengan gampangnya kita bilang, "ini passion gue!"

seorang sahabat bernama, Megawati.

pada awalnya dia lah yang mengenalkan kepada saya,
apa istilah passion.

dia menggambarkan passion itu seperti rasa cinta seseorang terhadap sesuatu.
(mungkin dalam hal ini bukan seseorang :p)
di umurnya yang 23 tahun ini, Ami, begitu saya memanggilnya.
ia telah menemukan apa passion nya.

mengajar.
Ami sangat menyukai saat ia mengajar seseorang.
ia suka saat ia berbagi ilmu kepada seseorang yang ia ajarkan.

lalu, dimana passion nya?

baginya, ia tak masalah saat ia dirugikan karena passion nya ini.
saat ini ia mengajar di sebuah sekolah international bilangan Jakarta Utara.
ia jujur terhadap saya, gajinya tak seberapa.
padahal ada banyak kesempatan yang bisa ia dapatkan, pengalaman yang jauh lebih meningkat ketimbang hanya mengajar.
tapi baginya, mengajar adalah passion nya.

seringkali saat kita berkata, "bermusik itu passion gue!"
tetapi saat ada kesempatan berkarir atau mungkin pekerjaan yang menghasilkan pemasukan lebih banyak,
dengan gampang kita mengalihkan profesi dan pekerjaan kita.
dan berdalih, semua butuh uang, semua ingin meningkatkan kualitas hidupnya.

so?
saya harus bilang, itu bukan passion.
karena passion datangnya dari hati.
datangnya dari kecintaanmu terhadap sesuatu.
yang walaupun justru sesuatu itu merugikanmu.
tapi kau tetap mencintainya dengan sepenuh hati.

saya tak mau munafik. dan lebih baik menjadi bajingan sekalian, dibanding berpura-pura benar dan baik di mata orang.
jujur, saya belum tau apa passion saya.
karena bagi saya, saat ini, yang saya kejar adalah.
harta, tahta, dan cinta.

dan apabila dari ketiga itu ada yang lebih penting, mungkin itulah yang disebut passion.

karena saat saya memutuskan memilih passion saya, maka yang saya kejar bukanlah keuntungan diri sendiri semata.
karena bagi saya bicara soal passion, bicara tentang memberi kepada yang kita kasihi.

harta, tahta, dan cinta, masih mengenal istilah menerima.
tetapi passion tak lagi ada saat kau akan menerima.

karena memang pada akhirnya seseorang dituntut untuk memberi dan bukan menerima.
pada ujungnya, hanya ada air mata yang menunjukkan kalau kau tersenyum bahagia.

kembali lagi, harus diakui kalau saya memang belum pada tahap itu.

bagaimana denganmu?